Wednesday 26 February 2014

A tribute to our lil baby who had gone to heaven...

It was the 6th of February 2014. It's amazing how 2 simple lines can bring such joy to the family. After almost 5 years, another baby will surely light up our home. Fatimah, Dina & Umar couldn't believe what they heard but they were already arguing how would the baby look like, hoping she or he will look like them. Almost all of them wanted a baby boy. 

A day after, we were shocked by the sudden departure of our beloved sister in business, madam Lam. I was with CDM Chan's family till they brought her to the mortuary in Hospital Selayang.

Maybe from the shock and bereavement , or the excessive movements I bled a bit but I knew you would survive, lil baby. 

After a week long MC, I was back to work. I was so lucky to have such understanding superiors & colleagues, who put me off oncalls and heavy clinical works. 

The nausea & vomiting started at 5 weeks plus & much welcomed, cos I know it means you are growing strong inside me. 

At 6 weeks we saw you for the first time, in a tiny sac but we cannot see any heartbeat yet cause you are so small still. Everyday I prayed for you so that you will become a coolness to our eyes & hearts. Deep down I knew you'll be a little girl with curly hair & big beautiful eyes. 

Today, I woke up with a bad feeling, deep in the pit of my stomach. The cramps I felt since yesterday was indeed the premonition of the thing I fear most. I bled & bled... & I think I lost you.... 

You'll be 7 weeks in 2 days time but our time together was indeed very short. Allah gave you to us for a short while, only to take you back cos He knows what's best for us. 

Gravida 5, para 3 + 1 has become para 3 + 2. In lay term, 5 pregnancies, 3 successful ones, 2 ended abruptly. 

I sure hope to see you in heaven, my child. No matter how small you were in my womb, you have no idea how much I love you already. Till we meet again, darling. I will never erase you from my memories... Never... Ummi Abi love you so much.. 

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