Friday 9 November 2018

The fellowship journey , the giant catapult

Photo from Google at this link

16 months into my 24 months programme of Fellowship in Paediatric Ophthalmology & Strabismus, I felt like I have been hurled to a speed that made everything around me became blurred.

I feel that this journey, is exactly like a giant catapult.

It took a long, steady backward pull, before the incredible lurch forward.

It took me 5 years after my Masters programme, before I embarked on this journey to become a consultant.

A bit late, some of my juniors were already finishing their fellowship by the time I started, but my mentor Prof Nurliza always say ," It's ok. Everyone has their own pace".

I took my time, and I had to wait for my senior to go for his fellowship first. That's how civil services are. Seniority is key.

But then he left for private practice, so I took my chance.

The first 6 months of this fellowship was nerve wrecking. Because I didn't know a lot of stuffs. But my mentors and the other doctors were very helpful and made me feel right at home.

The second 6 months became interesting, because I could manage patients in the NICU, clinic as well as in the operating theatre.

But this third 6 months.

It's something else.

The amount of responsibilities and the prospect of setting my own Paediatric Ophthalmology services in UiTM hospital, it's like a heavy, mountain sized rock dawning on me.

Time is running out

In December I'll be going to Sabah, then it'll only be 6 months left in UMMC with my mentors.

6 months is too short.

The speed of this catapult is scary, and I can't slow it down nor can I stop it.

In UiTM I can go on 6 months without taking a single day of annual leave, but during this fellowship, I'm literally drained every 6 weeks or so.

There are days I felt so tired from operating, that I felt like calling a taxi to bring me home, and leave the car in the hospital.

Other days I just want to curled down at a surau somewhere and sleep for a few hours before I drive home. 

And I just cannot take leave sometimes because there are paediatric cases that I need to follow up, and I care too much for the children to let someone else see them .

I hope I will still be standing at the end of this.

I sure do hope so.

I have a very full month of November to go through and then we are flying off on the 2nd of December to Sabah, for a month long attachment at the Women and Children Hospital in Likas.

May Allah help me and give me strength in shaa Allah

Please pray for me.

Dr Azlindarita Aisyah Mohd Abdullah
Running on low battery

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